Ding, ding, ding!

Who wins the fight? Presenter or donut?

I can tell you it’s going to be a close match but the donut takes it.

The donut outwits, outsmarts, and outlasts the business presenter.

It’s not hard to see why either. 99% of business presentations are slightly less exciting as a brightly colored, inanimate lump of fat and sugar. And much less appetizing.

Here’s why a donut on stage is more interesting than a business presenter:

Opening remarks

Our business presenter opens with the tried and trusted, “Good morning. Thank you very much for coming to my presentation today. Today I will talk about…”

The donut says nothing and keeps the audience in suspense. The audience can’t help but gaze at the donut, wondering “What will happen next?”

Donut: 1
Presenter: 0

Engagement

The business presenter stands still and gazes from the stage. He remembers he had a rhetorical question prepared and pauses to recall it. The penny drops and he abruptly blasts the rhetorical question at the audience. The delivery is not quite right and the audience looks confused. Everything is delivered in a monotone.

The donut has no monotone. The donut has no half-memorized rhetorical questions to bark at the audience. The donut remains on stage. At all times supremely confident.

Donut: 2
Presenter: 0

Visual communication

The business presenter flaps his arms around doing the gestures he practiced to “add impact at appropriate moments”. When not gesturing to add impact the presenter keeps his arms close to his body as if to protect himself. He tries to appear as though he is making eye contact with the audience by looking to the back of the room.

The donut has not practiced any gestures. The donut doesn’t try to do visual communication. The donut doesn’t pretend to make eye contact with anyone. The donut remains confident throughout his entire time on stage.

Donut: 3
Presenter: 0

PowerPoint slides

The business presenter proudly displays his PowerPoint slides. Bullet points beam from the stage, hypnotizing the rabid reader/listeners to the edge of their seats. The business presenter shows his animation technique by making each bullet point fade in slowly… Very, very, very slowly.

The donut chooses to deliver his presentation confidently, without slides. This allows the audience to focus 100% on the donut on stage.

Donut: 4
Presenter: 0

Dexterity with laser pointer

The business presenter holds the laser pointer like excalibur. Deliberately advancing his slides so the audience sees he’s in control. As he reads his slides to the audience, he highlights the line he is reading so everything is clear for his listeners. Occasionally he turns towards the audience without turning off his laser and temporarily blinds some of the crowd.

The donut has no hands so cannot use a laser pointer. The presenter takes this one by default.

Donut: 4
Presenter: 1

That does it!

Stay tuned for another battle between presenters and inanimate objects.